Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hand Crafted Beads

Here are a few beads I've created for Autumn, don't have a great picture of the snowman beads, she isn't the most motionless child I've ever seen. :)  I'm going to be making beads and selling them as part of our adoption fund-raising efforts. If you have something special you want please let me know. I'll post pictures as I make things and can certainly make more of anything I've already figured out. I believe Iron-Man is next on Autumn's agenda, Easter eggs are my next thought. I'm going to work on a tiger stripe something since she likes tigers. I figured I can do just about any animal stripe, I'm playing with the spotted animal prints. Most sports balls are completely do-able and pony beads are very easy.

Holidays are fun to try to work out, Autumn wanted Candy Canes. Well I could NOT figure out how to make those into beads, I was trying for a peppermint candy but didn't get it figured out, which is how we ended up with these pony beads instead. I think I have the swirled candy figured out now. Acorns for fall sound like fun and I'm going to give those a shot. It really is limited by imagination.

These are the snowmen that you can hardly see and I can't find the good picture I took. But she has 6 snowmen hanging from the top of her head and then the candy cane pony beads on the smaller box braids.

Use the "contact me" form on here to let me know what you want me to make. Prices will depend on what you want and how many of them. I will always let you know the price before I start.

Monday, March 21, 2011

A Soapbox Moment part 2

So that last post leads to this one: Unbelievable things people have said to me over the course of the adoption process and after we brought Autumn home. (I'm leaving out the things I said inside my head because most of the time the thoughts aren't very appropriate or just overly sarcastic)
  • Is she your real child? (YES she is!)
  • She's beautiful but don't you wish you could have one that looks like you? (not really this is the child God created for us, why would I change that?)
  • Where is her real mother? (excuse me??!!!?!?! standing right in front of you!)
  • Why did you adopt her? (that was God's plan)
  • Couldn't you have your own children? (um....she is my own child!)
  • Do you know anything about her real parents? (yes, I have blonde hair and blue eyes....)
  • Does she know who her real mom is? (yes, it's me!)
  • Does she call you mom? (i can't even dignify that with a response--out loud anyway)
  • When did you get her?
  • Why did you wait so long to have kids?
  • Why didn't her real mom want her? (oh PLEASE don't ask that question around her birth mom, how insensitive can you get?! Of course her birth mom wanted her, and it's none of your business why she chose this option for her daughter)
  • Why didn't you adopt a white baby? (oh, I'm so not going there)
  • Oh my goodness what do you do with her hair? I'd never be able to figure that stuff out!
  • Does she know she's adopted? (nope, it's a state secret.....of course she knows, she even knows she grew in her birth mom's tummy because Mommy's tummy is broken)
  • Didn't you know that Asian babies are cheaper? (in what reality?!?!)
  • What did she cost? (about the same that your baby cost)
Oh and this list just keeps going! (pause to once again say the Serenity Prayer....)

Do you know that my daughter HEARS these questions?!?! Honestly people, THINK before you speak!!!! I have no problem talking about our experience with adoption, actually I love talking about it but not to every Tom, Dick, and Harry that is just being nosy. If you really want to know about adoption and have some serious questions about the process itself, I'm happy to sit and talk to you. But please don't ask stupid questions when my daughter is standing right there, she's going to hear enough of these from her peers as she gets older, she shouldn't have to hear it from the adults she respects (or even adults she doesn't know), adults are supposed to have a little more care for children's feelings than that. On the other hand I work with lots of families and see how they talk about their own children right in front of them! Unbelievable!!!!

Our daughter is an amazing gift from God, her birth mom is also a wonderful gift from God, she is a very important part of our family. I can't even begin to imagine the emotions she went through before and after Autumn's birth and every time she sees Autumn; but I do know that the same stupid questions that hurt me and my daughter also hurt her birth mom. I would not trade Autumn for anything in this world, and no, I don't wish she looked like me. I love the way she looks, she is a beautiful little girl, inside and out. I enjoy learning about how to care for her hair and all the fun things we can do with it. I love the joy she has of life and every little thing about the world around her. Autumn loves God and talks to him as if she were talking to a friend, she knows that Jesus lives in her heart and that the angels sleep with her and keep her and her friends safe at night. I think that she even talks to her angel sister and her angel grandmothers from comments she has made.She is so creative and imaginative and smart and adventurous (sometimes a little to much for my taste, there are days I cover my eyes and pray), she is curious and caring, she is very musically talented and I can't wait to see where her talents and interests take her in life. Why would I want to miss even a second of any of that?!

A Soapbox Moment part 1

A few days ago I was at a party and all of us mom's were talking about our kids (because what mom doesn't?) I mentioned in the course of this casual conversation that I can't have kids and honestly, I'm not looking for stupid platitudes and "empathy" from someone who's never been there. It has taken me YEARS to be able to say that casually, and accept that it is part of who I am. So I thought I'd share some of the unbelievable things people have said in the past:
  • It just wasn't meant to be
  • These things happen for a reason
  • Maybe you weren't trying hard enough
  • You just need to relax
  • If you'd adopt then you could get pregnant (WHAT!?!?! um....I have adopted...)
  • You can have mine, they are driving me crazy
  • Oh, parenting is such hard work
  • You are so lucky, my husband just has to look at me and I get pregnant
  • Did you try the backseat of a car?
and on and on it goes! Here's the thing......try listening to what you are about to say before you say it. If these are the direction you are headed please just keep your mouth shut. Or rather try "I'm so sorry, that must be hard". And don't say "i know just how you must feel" if you've never been where I am because you actually have NO idea how I feel. I have come to terms with the broken parts of my body but that doesn't mean that I still feel sad or grieve and that these things can't hurt me anymore. Do I feel little pangs of sadness and jealousy when friends and family are getting pregnant around me? Of course, but I'm also thrilled for them and can't wait to meet their new little one! (ok now I'm off to say the Serenity prayer a few times)

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

The Clean Up

 When we made pizza last week I had the misfortune of picking up the bag of flour and having it rip and then fall onto the floor. Autumn thought it was the funniest thing, that Mommy made such a mess. As I was standing there still in shock she came over to me, patten my hip (about as high as she could reach) and while sighing and shaking her head said "it happens Mommy". Then she promptly wanted to clean it up. She actually did a pretty good job with that large broom.